A Road Trıp

 Vomit. Need I to say? Seeping through my ears, nose, mouth somehow cannot form itself. The need is necessary, the need is bountiful, and the need forcing.Yet, it cannot form itself.  Fight. Will never end. No need to emphasise. Burning, like an endless bonfire inside a casket. Yet, it cannot consume. Endless source.  Belonging. On a painting, watercolour. Will talking work? Will it take away shield formed long before I was born? Maybe in a swaddle in a cradle? Soft, cashmere like. Will it work?  Will. Fading away. Each day, a candle light amidst the storm. No questions asked in this atmosphere. Take away relationships. the need again. the Other. Problem. Solution. Freedom. Imprisonment. Fear. Courage. What I see in my eyes. 

      This song.  In the middle of the night and we are walking towards the rocks on the beach. Nothing happens, we just stare each other and enjoy the wind on a summer night.  There is trust, there is love, there is freedom.      This song, reminds me of the freedom.  Somehow we find our way into each other's arms day after day. Watching the stars among the sand, kissing each other while the wind caress our skin. I never forget how we loved each other on that night, alone in the balcony, choosing songs one by one.  Our words embracing each other on the air, they feel familiar, they feel belonged. The sun and the moon were not taking turns during our days, they were existing together. A new form of life, we discovered.  This song, somehow, reminds me of those days.  We tried. We kept all the possibilities on the shelf, tried them one by one. This song reminds me something we had, we lost and we will never have. I will never hav...